Admittedly, X does seem like the perfect letter to mark a spot.
I wish there were a smoke alarm sensitive enough to be able to tell when it’s just me cooking bacon.
I’ve often though it’d be cool to have a Reverse Microwave; where you could get ice in, like, 20 seconds.
Of all people, why would SuperCuts have employed Terry Bradshaw as a spokesman?
If a Smurf kid didn’t get what he wanted from his mom, did he threaten to hold his breath until he turned beige?
Is there anything more oxymoronic than ‘color-safe bleach’?
Why, on Wheel of Fortune, when the puzzle reads something like, TH_ WIZARD OF OZ, does the contestant often say, “Pat, I want to buy a vowel. Is there an ‘E’?” They should automatically lose a turn for pulling stuff like that.
I wonder if Aquaman is a vegetarian that refuses to eat seafood, but thinks meat is ok.
When you open a bag of peanuts and happen to catch the “Contains Nuts” warning on the label, who do you tend to feel sorrier for in that instant; our legal system, or our society as a whole?
How come people will watch a movie on TV-and sit through all the many commercials-when they have the same movie in DVD form sitting on their shelf?
Why do some people refer to men in their late 50’s as ‘middle aged’? Do they expect that most will make it to 118?
I wonder what motivation dolphins have for protecting us humans from sharks. Maybe they’re paying us back for that whole albacore tuna thing.
I would love to see how the inside of an igloo is furnished.
Why is there a 5 stroke limit in miniature golf? Whose ego is that fragile? If a person can attain par on a Par 4, 400 yard hole in real golf, why should they get an extra stroke to putt 30 feet just because they might have to avoid a toy windmill?
Why is it that your willingness to laugh at a bad sense of humor goes up in direct proportion to how attractive the woman who displays it is?
Why has inflation affected everything but the Ginsu knife? After 30 years, it’s still only $19.99.
Yankee Candle ought to come out with a ‘burnt popcorn’ scent. That way, corporate workers can feel more like they’re at the office from the comfort of their own homes.
I’ve never met one man-not one-who’d rather be Bill Gates than Hugh Hefner.
Wouldn’t Pac Man have been a great spokesman for Tums?
Why is it that when you feel something odd on one side of your body, you immediately check to make sure it’s in the same place on the other side, too?
I once saw a front page newspaper headline touting a study that showed drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth could make the OJ taste bitter. You know, it’s kind of funny; we all laughed at the guy on those TV commercials in that Riddler jacket who screamed the government will give you money for anything.
Seriously, what were the odds that nearly half the cast of the movie Predator would become United States governors?
If God won’t stop a tsunami, what makes some people think He’ll take some time out of His day to pop in and help their team’s guy kick a game winning field goal?
The 3rd biggest thing I’m going to miss when I’m dead is a wicked cold glass of ice water on a sweltering summer day.