On This Date: In 1968: The Beatles completed their legendary White Album. With the music portion finished on time, they took an extra 13 seconds to design album’s cover.
On This Date: In 1885: Wilson Bentley took the first photograph of a snowflake; or so he’d thought. It turned out to be just one of the Wonder Twins screwing with him.
On This Date: In 1996: President Jacques Chirac announced a "definitive end" to French nuclear testing; which explains why Matthew Broderick never got to do the Godzilla sequel.
On This Date: In 1977: Fleetwood Mac released their eventual Grammy winning album Rumours. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard.
In 1997: The Australian parliament overturned the world’s first euthanasia law; calling their decision to revoke the edict a “mercy killing.”
In 986: Louis V became King of the Franks; and by default, the Beans.
On This Date: In 1872: George Westinghouse patented the air brake. All things being equal, I’d still rather take my chances with a parachute.
On This Date: In 1965: Neil Simon's play The Odd Couple opened on Broadway; starring British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking, and actress Jessica Simpson.
On This Date: In 1409: The Council of Pisa opened. Apparently, they were all sitting on the same side of the tower.
On This Date: In 1842: Anesthesia was used during an operation for the first time. I can’t help but wonder though just how pissed off the guy who’d had an appendectomy the day before was.
On This Date: In 1963: Dr. James Campbell performed the first human nerve transplant; henceforth dooming his patient to a lifetime of “Hey! You’ve got a lot of nerve” jokes.
In 1968: San Francisco's Old Hall of Justice was demolished; thereby leaving Batman and the Green Lantern with nowhere to hold their northern California meetings.
On This Date: In 1910: Author Mark Twain died at age 74. It appears that this time at least, the reports of his death were not quite so exaggerated.
On This Date: In 1962: The U.S. performed an atmospheric nuclear test at Christmas Island. Now at least we know how all of those toys became misfits.
On This Date: In 1930: In 1998: The Supreme Court ruled that the famous Ellis Island is located not mainly in New York, but primarily in New Jersey. Ah, well. To the victor, go the soils.
On This Date: In 1986: In Florida, a 95-year-old woman achieved a hole-in-one. My guess is that she timed the windmill just right.
On This Date: In 1965: Franco-American introduced Spaghetti-O’s; thus
setting French cuisine back to, roughly, the dawn of time.
In 1960: The first contraceptive pill was made available, creating a nationwide barrier that was virtually impregnable
On This Date: In 1799: Founding Father Patrick Henry passed away in Virginia. Ironically, he was given Liberty, and then given death anyway.
On This Date: In 1994: O.J. Simpson was arrested and charged in the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend; after a car chase that went on so long that by the time they’d caught him, he was already eligible for parole.
On This Date: In 1971: Singer Jim Morrison died in Paris, France; closing The Doors on a promising career.
On This Date: 1928: In Missouri, the Chillicothe Baking Company became the first one ever to sell sliced bread. At a press conference to announce it, Chillicothe’s spokesman told reporters, “This is the greatest thing since…since…Oh, man. Sorry- I got nothing.”
In 1251: According to legend, Simon Stork was given a haircut by The Virgin Mary. I can only imagine Stork sitting there in the chair, frantically trying to determine the consequences of under tipping.
On This Date: In 1932: The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St.
Lawrence Seaway. The treaty ultimately broke down though when neither country wanted to plug the hose in on its own side.
In 1975: Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s United States citizenship was restored by the House of Representatives. By all accounts, Lee took the news lying down.
On This Date: In 1586: The first potato arrived in Britain. It took hours to get to the hotel though due to the seemingly endless swarms of paparazzi.
On This Date: In 1911: The one millionth patent was filed with the United States Patent Office. Ironically, the patent was for a large net that could be used to hold, and then release, thousands of balloons.
On This Date: In 1979: A rainbow was visible for 3 hours in Northern Wales; unwittingly leading directly to the capture of over 1,300 leprechauns.
On This Date: In 1959: Oil was first discovered in the Yukon. Strictly by coincidence, also on this date preliminary plans for a war in the Yukon were first discussed.
In 1566: The Netherlands granted rights to Calvinists; while the Hobbes-ists, sadly, got nothing.
On This Date: In 1956: The first prefrontal lobotomy was performed in Washington, D.C. After two weeks of recuperation, the congressman returned to work.
In 1982: The first issue of the national newspaper ‘USA Today’ was published. Also on this date: the first person to have no choice but use the awkward phrase, “I read something interesting in USA Today…today,” used it.
On This Date: In 1176: The Battle of Myriokephalon was fought. The fight dragged on for what seemed like an eternity; with occasional pauses so that somebody or other could buy a vowel.
On This Date: 1776: Nathan Hale was hanged for spying during American Revolution. His last words were, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” He then added, “And you can quote me on that.”
On This Date: In 1923: Actor Charlton Heston was born in Evanston, Illinois. His first words reportedly were, “you’ll take this bottle from my cold, dead hands.”
On This Date: In 2003: California voters recalled Governor Gray Davis and elected actor Arnold Schwarzenegger to replace him. They then sent Davis out to hunt down and terminate Sarah Connor.
On This Date: In 1002: Leif Erikson landed in present-day North America. An excerpt from his journal from that day reads, “Columbus Day, my ass.”
On This Date: In 1991: Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart was seen soliciting a prostitute. The spotter must have had great eyesight too, to be able to distinguish the money grubbing whore…from the prostitute.
On This Date: In 1888: The infamous "From Hell" letter sent by Jack the Ripper was received by authorities, who were ultimately able to trace its place of origin back to the waiting room of the Connecticut Department of Motor Vehicles.
On This Date: In 1767: The Mason-Dixon Line, separating Maryland and Pennsylvania, was finished, It took over 4 tons of chalk to complete.
In 1982: The Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney song ‘The Girl Is Mine’ was released. Were I a betting man, my bet would’ve been that ‘The Girl’ ended up with McCartney.
On This Date: In 1942: The NHL abolished regular season overtime until the conclusion of World War II; as Allied commanders determined that the one thing war torn North America did not need at that time was an extra 5 minutes tacked on to tied hockey games.
On This Date: In 1867: Famed English author Charles Dickens gave his first ever public reading in the United States. When asked for his opinion afterward, one audience member stated, “It was the best of readings; it was the worst of readings.”